Fashion Watch

LA Formality

The Gucci show for the Children's Action Network was one of those rare non-awards-ceremony LA events that got the celebrities properly dressed up (in most cases).

Charlize Theron wore fabulous asymmetrical green (and I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and conclude that the lop-sided chest is simply the camera angle).

I wasn't quite as convinced by Jessica Simpson's green leafy dress, but it's still a vast improvement on much she's been wearing recently (and yes, despite this photo, Nick was there as well).

Rita Wilson wore a curvy and flattering belted black gown.

Perhaps it was only the florals that were problematic (or the Jessicas). Jessica Biel's white gown with blue floral details was pretty, and yet not quite right. I'm not sure if it was the white panneling in front, or maybe it was a trying a little too hard to be innocent.

Actually, not just the Jessicas. Serena Williams's black dress put her assets on display, but also was seamed in a manner that gave her saddle bags. And even a top class, super tall, very fit athlete should never wear shoes with ankle straps such as those.

While also suffering from ankle-strap-itis, I really love Kelly Lynch's slightly rough black dress and wide belt. Interesting and appropriate at the same time.

Zoey Deschanel's floral dress looked more daytime than evening, but that didn't matter so much because I was too distracted by her apparently smeared under-eye make-up. With decent make-up and more evening shoes, Ginnifer Goodwin was able to make a similarly styled dress look for event appropriate, and pretty.

I am coming to conclude that Julie Delpy really hates her calves. The boots are back and paired with an unfortunately sheer-in-the-flashbulbs black dress.

Melissa George rolled out of bed and threw on a white trench and gold sandals. I suspect that if I could ever stop negatively associating her with a pig-tailed Home and Away teenager, I might think that this look really worked. Unfortunately I just picture braids (and I didn't even watch that show), and feel like she's playing dress-up unconvincingly.

Okay Laura Dern, we get the hippie earth mother thing, there's no need to resort to this.

Eva Mendes golden wrap dress was lovely, if a little too close to the colour of her skin to be shown off to its best effect.

An age-old question

Right, so, how to walk a delicate line between commending someone for looking their age in an age when so many try to avoid it at all costs, and being slightly scared that they are looking their age? In the case of Candace Bushnell at the screening of The Family Stone I will elect to walk that line by questioning her hairstyle - which says "almost 50" in a bad way rather than "almost 50!" in a positive way - and criticising her choice of green Sergeant Pepper jacket over sheer leopard print blouse over black bra.

I generally think that Maggie Rizer is extremely pretty, but the cut of this wrap dress was far from flattering.

I'm not sure about the flat hair, but Sarah Jessica Parker's black (or is it dark blue?) strapless, slightly ruffled Oscar de la Renta dress was very fetching.

I thought the idea was to make each other look good...

I have long been under the (obviously mistaken) impression that at an event such as Swarovski Fashion Rocks for The Prince's Trust, fashion designers dressed celebrities with whom they had (or wished to have) some affinity for the purposes of making their designs appear cool, and consequently sell more clothes. The celebrities, on the other hand, wanted (a) free clothes; (b) attention; and (c) not to look stupid.

Now, I can certainly see the cheesy-tacky-over-the-top affinity of Roberto Cavalli and Victoria Beckham. However, I can't see this cut up, down, left and right "dress" as a great advertisement of his wears. And showing off her body, which appears so over-tanned and shiny as to be clearly made entirely of plastic, with bad hair extensions to boot, only gets Vicki B. a tick in column (b) (the piece of fabric clearly not substantial enough to constitute "clothes", free or otherwise).

Then we have Mariah Carey and Donatella Versace. Again, I can see some affinity. And it is possible that the dress Ms. Carey is wearing is quite attractive. However, that's virtually impossible to tell because, as usual, Mariah regards the dress as a mere accessory to her leg and her voluminous hair. It's just a miracle she managed to keep her cleavage under control.

Giorgio Armani dressed Amerie, and from a distance it looked like they might be winners, but a closer inspection reveals that the shiny bronzed dress was in fact too tight and cutting one of her boobs in half in a lopsided manner.

I like Sharon Osbourne's new hairstyle, it's just a pity she and Kelly got attacked by the black tulle fairy.