Fashion Watch

Cannes Wrap-Up

Yes, I'm a little late with the Cannes wrap-up, but what can you do?

There were four actresses consistently in front of the cameras in Cannes, jury member Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz and Sin City stars Jessica Alba and Britney Murphy.

Of those, Alba came out the real fashion winner, in consistently attractive though far from boring ensembles. Witness:

Silver sparkles and cleavage at the Dolce & Gabbana party.

Fabulous in black strapless, great jewellery and an up-do at the Sin City screening.

Her least successful outing was the AMFAR party, but it was by no means a dud, it's just that her black halter neck dress when paired with her slightly odd hair reminded me a little of an early 90s game show hostess.

Murphy seemed to choose an array of outfits that were too long, too overwhelming, or just not quite suited to her, though not necessarily awful in and of themselves:

In a booby white baby doll with an almost-bee-hive hairdo at Dolce & Gabanna.

The black and sheer dress at the Sin City screening just seemed to big and undefined for someone so little.

Then, at the AMFAR party, her white, silver and gold gown was about a mile too long, and is it just me, or can you picture it more easily on a much older woman?

Hayek, as has already mentioned below, was somewhat schizophrenic in her choices - mainly within the same dresses:

Attractive black over nude dress at the closing ceremony, completely ruined by the positioning of a giant red bow on her ass. What sane person who survived the 80s would be moved to wear a dress that included an ass bow, even when it's by Valentino?

While black + jewellery + up-do worked spectacularly for Alba at the Sin City
screening, a similar look was nowhere near as flattering on Hayek. The dress was too short and too low cut, the choker was too big and choking and the up-do was just too up.

But then there was Cruz, who varied between lovely, boring, and odd in her dress choices, not to mention that wig:

Clingy aqua sack dress and big wig at Dolce & Gabbana.

Stunning in pink florals and pretty hair at the closing ceremony.

Dull pale blue Dior strapless and fly-away hair, perhaps transitioning from "wig" to "pretty" at Naomi Campbell's party and the AMFAR party.

Oh, and a final note for Hilary Swank's black and white strapless gown which, I'm going to take a wild guess here, came from Chanel. I don't completely hate it, but yet it doesn't work. I think it's (a) the unnecessary bow; (b) the ponytail, which is getting old given she seems to wear a version of it on every red carpet she walks down; and (c) the giant pearl handbag.

Renee - Dark and Light

At the Cinderella Man premiere, Renee Zellweger looked stunning in off-the-shoulder textured red, in a cut that gave her curves which she doesn't have, but should.

However, when getting her star on the Walk of Fame, she washed herself out in an ice blue dress that was also a nice cut, but just the wrong colour for someone so (refreshingly, I might add) pale.

Day for Night

The Daytime Emmys - where I show off an unreasonable knowledge of the stars of some soaps, particularly given that I don't watch any anymore. I really don't.

But we'll begin with a person I don't know, but a dress we're becoming all too familiar with. Shanelle Workman wore a version of that banana cut-out dress previously worn unsuccessfully by Sheryl Crow and others. Really, you'd think that after a dress has been down the red carpet several times on several different bodies and worked on absolutely none of them, that people would learn. Apparently not.

Crystal Chappell is looking much curvier than she was back in her Days days, which is fine, as was the dark green colour of her dress, however, perhaps abandoning the beading which managed to emphasise the hips so much would have been a good idea.

From all reports Eden Riegel's Emmy was well deserved (unlike some others we could mention *cough*Natalia Livingston*cough*) and while her beige dress was pretty, it didn't appear to allow her to breathe and actually enjoy her win.

Kristian Alfonso is another of those actresses that could really do with being force fed a few sandwiches. Her perfectly lovely black and white dress was turned into scary costume by so much skin and bone.

Speaking of scary, what was going on with Hunter Tylo? The wrapped up, lop-sided bodiced, gold-peach gown? The sunglasses? The lips that may have been stolen from Lisa Rinna? Mrs Hamlin herself, scary lips aside, wore a lovely blue gown, spoiled a little by the over-tan, but you can't have everything.

Nancy Grahn, always a class act, was fabulous in gold. That woman is almost fifty, people, fifty!

Alison Sweeney was looking post-baby radiant, though her choice of poufy, metallicy-peachy gown would have looked more at home at a gala ball than a TV awards ceremony. However, she and Erika Slezak, in green, were clearly attending the same ball.

Not sure what she was doing at the Daytime Emmys (though I seem to recall her being on a soap at one time), but Vivica A. Fox looked fantastic in a one-shouldered bright green gown.

Tyra Banks was all va-va-voom in black, but her make-up seemed to over emphasise cat-like features to a point where she looked like she might scratch.

Soap star/reality TV wife Rebecca Budig apparently stepped straight from the prairie on to the red carpet in a strapless dress made from what appears to be brown suede and discarded lace doilies.

Pulled face aside, I actually like Deidre Hall's leopard print dress. It's a good cut and not too over-the-top, which is really saying something for a leopard print dress. Another diva who knew what she was doing was Susan Lucci in red satin.

Robin Strasser let down the daytime diva brigade, however, with this corset number in a strange shade of red.

However, the red of Michelle Stafford's off-the-shoulder gown was beautiful, it was just a pity that the cut made her look like she was being restrained. Co-star Victoria Rowell went to the opposite extreme in dainty white, looking like she was bound for a Sunday school picnic rather than an awards show.

Meanwhile in the battle of the Belle's, it was a nil-all draw. Kristen Storms attempted to boob-up her black dress which would have looked kind off cool and understated had she left the cleavage out of our faces. While Martha Madison managed to look both three foot wide and still pulled in the face with a tight and curly up-do and a too-long halter necked dress.

Natalia Livingston's win may have catapulted the awards to the bottom of the Completely Meaningless Awards barrel, but at least she wore a pretty off-white dress. (Nothing against her personally, of course, I'm sure she's a lovely person, but an award winning actress she's not. Or shouldn't be.)

Only in...Melbourne?

I didn’t think it happened outside the confines of the catwalks and pages of Vogue, and I really didn’t think it happened on chilly, foggy mornings on the verge of winter. But this morning, on the tram, I encountered a young woman, apparently on her way to work, wearing slim cut knee length bright pink shorts. With high heals.

Not unlike these. But in hot pink. With no safari jacket to match. And no tights underneath. Did I mention it was 10 degrees here this morning? And also, shorts!

Reunited

This photo from the Absolut Apeach launch has me flashing straight back to my mis-spent soap opera watching youth. I don't think it's any coincidence that Nicollette Sheridan looks prettier here than she has at any time during this career revival. It might be the peachy dress and soft fringe, but more likely it's William Devane, who, despite his hoodie and jeans, could have chemistry with a rock and definitely has it with his one-time Knots Landing girlfriend.

A More Tasteful Evening in Cannes

Continuing at Cannes, Lauren Bush wore a gorgeous golden green gown to the Mandelay premiere. Not sure it needs to extraneous green tie bit at the front, but otherwise it was lovely.

Bryce Dallas Howard also shone in flowing beige, even if she continues to dress as if she's considerably older than she actually is.

Meanwhile, at the History of Violence premiere Maria Bello finally abandoned her recent prairie non-chic wardrobe in favour of an over-the-top princess dress, which is an improvement, though she still didn't look comfortable. Viggo, however, apparently wants a role on Deadwood.

More From Cannes

At the Cache screening, Natalie Imbruglia looked very pretty in green, what I assume is Prada, while Victoria Abril went with loopy actress white as her theme for the evening.

Mischa Barton wore a black and white Cavalli gown that looks glamorous from that angle, but was otherwise clearly designed to show off her skinny, skinny back and her sticky-out hip bones.

Meanwhile, amidst a distressingly large amount of competition, Eva Herzigova again strives to show the most flesh at the Festival, again in see-through black.

Meanwhile at Revenge of the Sith, Sharon Stone looked panicked and held her breath in figure-hugging gold with a too blonde, not nearly as attractive as the previous short cut, hairstyle and frighteningly glowing perma-tan.

Natalie wore red this time, also pretty, but I much prefer the green.

I also preferred Eva Longoria's aqua strapless gown to her flesh toned show-off dress of the previous day, while Natalia Vodianova went overly bridal in a white strapless ball gown.

Natalie Portman knew enough to let her new lack of hair and startling resemblance to Sinead O'Connor do the talking by wearing a simple black strapless dress. Not stunning in itself, but inoffensive.

I really quite like Paz Vega's short sleeved long white dress with low key ruffles, it could have been over-done, but wasn't, and therefore worked.

Oh dear. At the Chopard party, Salma Hayek's multi-coloured, multi-pieced, shiny pink halter necked dress was extremely ugly.

But it was closely matched by Sharon Stone's multi-coloured and attacked by feathers ensemble at the Basic Instinct 2 photocall (Basic Instinct 2?!?).

Where the Flesh Lies

At the screening of Where the Truth Lies Sophie Marceau seemed to be channelling Jennifer Garner: big smile, heavy fringe, ear revealing hair style and pretty black and cream dress. That was up to the point where she, Sophie, not Jen, lost half her top and flashed the crowd.

Not quite so revealing (though still leaving little to the imagination) was Eva Longoria in a flesh toned and very closely fitting, knit dress.

Australian model turned actress Kristy Hinze tried hard to steal the flesh-flashing spotlight in her low cut silvery purple lace dress.

But it was Rachel Blanchard who won the event in pale blue-green with delicate wrap arounds and no attempts to show off anything we didn't need to see.

Black and White and Unnecessary Trains

At the Legends Ball, Naomi Campbell looked positively angelic in a slim white fish-tailed column with cascading curls. Looked. Not necessarily was.

Debbie Allen, on the other hand, was a cross between Scarlett O'Hara in mourning and a large pile of ashes. Very strange texture that dress.

Good lord, Maria Shriver appears to actually have some meat on her bones in her uninspiring simple white and black dress.

Slouch Katie, slouch! Katie Holmes' white dress was odd, to say the least. Flat and unflattering on top, bubbly and unflattering on the bottom, with an unnecessary and half-hearted train.

Tracee Ellis Ross, in white, managed to choose a dress that in addition to being too long, seemed both too big and too, well, flattening, on top, while mother Diana had the opposite problem in black.

Well, someone of Barbara Walters' age is certainly brave going with a strapless gown, but the bow on the front combined with the floral design on the white skirt makes it all seem rather too busy.

Alicia Keyes wore black satin with lace cut-outs and details and then a fringed head-dress which must have been annoying hanging in her eyes.

Tyra Banks wore a feather-heavy white gown, the bottom of which appeared significantly too heavy for the thin top.

Mariah Carey attacked a ballerina in a white tutu and imprisoned her under a black satin strapless dress.

While the host, Oprah, was the only one released from the black and white dress code, and she cut loose in an attractive red gown in the off-the-shoulder style she clearly knows suits her so well.

Variations with No Theme

At the Infinity Awards, Helena Christensen showed the world how to wear white, while all Donna Karan was demonstrating was a pidgeon-toed slouch.

Wow, I actually like something worn by Chloe Sevigny, in this case an off the shoulder floral confection. It helps that she was actually smiling rather than looking sullen and put upon.

Natalia Vodianova looked appropriately concerned that her pretty silver mini-dress might be a little more revealing than planned.

I quite like the grecian Zac Posen dress (skirt/top?) that Claire Danes wore, however a more natural make-up look generally suits her better.